Don't poke my bear. Lashing out can lead to a misdemeanor in our state.

Don't poke my inner bear. Mama bird wears advocacy helmet.

If you are so lucky to live in a school district that will provide what is in your students’ best interest, write them an email with the title subject, “Thank you”. Tell them what a difference they have made.

If you are not so lucky, your spiritual animal may be your inner bear. My inner animal used to be something fun and fluffy. Not anymore. Holding school districts accountable to uphold education code is the building block for effective learning. Education code is an outline. The IEP is how to fill the outline in. When districts and parents/ guardians come to a stale mate, situations can get ugly. Desperate people use desperate tactics and may resort to bear poking. Everyone knows what happens when you poke a bear too much.

I attended an online meeting for my son. I quickly realized that I got bamboozled and the meeting subject did not match the agenda. The administrator in charge made poor choices that then led to a cascade of even poorer choices. There were many opportunities to turn the boat around and head for calm waters, but she made a map and and was taking everyone with her no matter how rough the seas. Before unleashing my inner bear, I had to take a moment to recalibrate my True North. I did a little research online and found why she was poking my bear.

Montana State Ed Code: 20-4-303. Abuse of teachers. Any parent, guardian, or other person who shall insult or abuse a teacher anywhere on the school grounds or school premises shall be deemed guilty of a misdemeanor and, upon conviction of such misdemeanor by a court of competent jurisdiction, shall be fined no less than $25 or more than $500.

When I read the education code, I realized that poking my bear was the best defense she had. If I let my inner bear loose to destroy, then she could dismiss me or worse. The more she poked, the more Zen my bear had to become. She opened the meeting saying I was unkind and abusive. Ummmmm. When I heard that I knew I had to put on my advocate helmet and brace myself.

She was unable to support her claim. She could not provide first-hand experience, documentation, anecdotes, or examples of my poor behavior during the meeting she called. She had her agenda, and it had nothing to do with a student or education. Instead of doing my usual, pushing my inner bear into a compartment it didn’t fit in, I let it see some light. My bear watched. My bear learned. This is what my inner bear had to say.

You caused trauma. You abused your power for self-preservation. In meetings I can feel the stress put on the staff as they struggle to keep composure. I hear their voice shake. I can see their eyes dart during pauses when it is their turn to speak. I feel they are reading script via incoming texts instead giving professional opinion. I see the relief on their faces as they lean back in their chair when you interrupt and answer for them. I see you pulling their strings. My heart pains for them because I know what it is like to hold your breath.

Once when they opened their email or envelope to know if they passed their boards, they held their breath. They held their breath as their first client sat down for their first session. They held their breath waiting to tell someone they loved about the client they helped. Their excitement and pride burst out of them like a sunbeam through the clouds. Helping others brought great meaning to their life.

Now, they may hold their breath because they know “my boss made me do it” will not hold up with an ethics board. They may hold their breath each time they see their professional logo in the mail with their name on the envelope because they are afraid, they will be held accountable. When pushed, they made poor choices. They may hold their breath as they reflect and search for who they are in who they were.

I wish you accountability. If you have breath, you can take responsibility for your actions and create change. Ask your loved ones, your colleagues, the students and families you have knowingly wronged, and mostly yourself for forgiveness and grace. I do not wish to return your bear poke. I do not wish you sadness or pain. You know better. Do better. Be an example, for all who work under you, of how to be better.

The phrase, “You can’t fight city hall” should be updated to, “You can’t fight city hall alone”. Alone, you are one grain of sand. Alone you are a nuisance that may or may not be recognized. When you find other grains of sand and form a group, it is harder for city hall to ignore. This “poke the bear” tactic is not special or formulated towards me. This is how our school district operates. If this happened to you, you are not alone. Find the others in your school district and start the conversation on how to update the culture to support change.

When you find yourself in situations where your inner bear is being poked. And poked. And poked. Take a minute, a deep breath and straighten that advocate warrior helmet. Open the door for your inner bear, who might be defensive and roaring in the dark. Introduce your bear to light and the warmth it brings. Take time and care to understand your bear. Make choices with your bear. Name your bear. Love your bear. Honor your bear.

After all, you are the bear.

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Research Links

Montana Abuse of Teacher Link

Searchable Text - bellow is the wording I used to find education code used in our state.

(Your state) teacher abuse.